Read This!

The following is an article written by entrepreneur and author MJ Demarco that was just posted yesterday.  MJ illustrates perfectly how the company you keep can and will have a direct impact on your happiness and success in life.  I recommend reading this multiple times so you can let it soak in.  We all have "trash" in our lives we need to take out....what's yours?

The Following can be found at  http://www.fastlaneentrepreneurs.com.

-Asher-



What is seen, cannot be unseen, and sometimes, you have to know when that works to your favor.
Anytime you build a relationship with someone, you essentially take the passenger seat of their car.
If they’re reckless, your life can get equally reckless.  People, and the relationships we build with them, are like winding roads; they can take you in spectacular new directions or perilous detours.
The detours are hazardous to your success, to your health, and to your happiness.
A perfect example occurred when I was a teenager.
I had a friend named Dave.  I appreciated Dave’s friendship because he was strong, aggressive and confident while seemingly immune to what anyone said about him.  It was a quality I admired.
But I soon learned that Dave was a dangerous friend and my continued “passage” in his car would be a dangerous cocktail to my life.
You see, one day I went to Dave’s house and Dave’s real self became visible.  Dave’s mother wanted him to take out the garbage to which he retorted “F*ck you, you d*ckless woman!” (Yes, I kid you not!!)
I was shocked.
My mouth fell to the floor.
Dave’s mother’s response was equally shocking — she absorbed the disrespect, did nothing, and reiterated the demand.
Later, Dave and I were playing in the backyard which neighbored a large grassy meadow.  In the meadow, Dave captured a mouse and tossed it into a coffee can.  Then, he walked over to a pile of dead brush, lit it on fire, and tossed the mouse into the fire.  He laughed and cajoled in utter amusement as the mouse scampered about helplessly and burned to death.
I stood there mortified.  Thirty years later and this scene is still burned into my head like it just happened weeks ago.
At that moment, I knew I never wanted to see Dave again and my admiration turned into trembling fear.   Hiding my terror, I non-nonchalantly said “that’s not cool” and told him that I had to go home and do homework.
After I returned home, I told my mother.  Although I already decided that I didn’t want to see Dave again, she followed up my own decision with her own forbidding as well.  “No more Dave on the bus, after school, or anywhere else!” While I continued to see Dave in the school hallways, I was successful in avoiding Dave and he faded from my life …. until about 6 years later…
The entire City of Chicago would soon meet Dave in murderous infamy: Headline news reported that Dave unloaded a gun on a police officer after a high speed chase.  I also learned that he had a “passenger” in his car during the whole incident.  Dave, was later tried for murder as an adult, and convicted. 
He is spending the rest of his life in prison.
And what about his passenger?  Was he a willing or unwilling participant?  Regardless of the passenger’s intent, you can bet that his life from that moment became instantly skewed to the negative.
I wonder… had I not made the choice years earlier to abandon this friendship, could Dave’s passenger have been me? If so, I doubt my life would be the same.
The fact is, everyday we make decisions, not just “action” decisions, but relationship decisions.  Who is in your life WHO SHOULD NOT BE in your life?  Who is NOT in your life that NEEDS TO BE?
You see, people are like currents on a river; when you saddle up in a relationship, their currents and tradewinds can drag you wherever they go.  Some currents lead to favorable destinations and circumstances, while others are not so rosy.
A lot of people like to talk about wealth and financial freedom but fail at many of the things that make financial freedom impossible.  Poor choices make poor people.  If you’re chained to bad relationships and the poor circumstances they produce, can you ever expect to succeed at anything?  Countless psychological studies have proven that happiness leads to success — success doesn’t lead to happiness!
Examine your relationships choices.  Is it time you take out the trash?  Or worse, are you the trash that someone else has to take out?
Think about it.
Have you trashed any friends in your past where today, you can safely predict saved you from a personal tragedy?
~ MJ
 

Send money and then ask for it? What?

Over the last year I have been receiving, in my mailbox, an increasing number of letters from charities, foundations, and organizations asking me for money (March of Dimes, Angel Tree Ministries etc.).  These requests for funds have been increasing rapidly, especially after I give to one of them, leading me to believe that these organizations are selling/giving my information to other organizations to let them know I'm "a giver".  While I do not have a problem with this sharing of my information, I do have a problem with receiving these letters 2-3 times per day,  and moreover I have a problem with the expensive and elaborate material that is often enclosed in the envelopes.  So, what's wrong with this scenario?  After all, the vast majority of these charities do great work and are completely legit, but what is it that causes that "something is not right" feeling in my gut when I open one of these letters and find fancy address labels, note pads, and yes even money.  What?  I thought you were asking me for money?!  Why are you sending me money?!  Yes, I realize that the nickel, dime, or penny you enclosed is not a lot of money, but how many of these envelopes did you send out?!  If an organization were to send out 5,000 donation requests (and this number is very low), with a nickel in each one, that would be $250 of wasted money, and that's not including the postage and other expensive publications enclosed.  Sounds like a miss-handling of donor funds to me, but it get's even worse.  It would be my assumption that the clear window in the envelope showing you the nickel is first designed to make you open the letter, after all, any mentally sane person would not throw money in the trash, right?  Now you take the nickel out and start feeling an element of guilt that goes through your head something like this:  "I can not morally take this nickel, throw it in my change jar, and not give money to this charity."  So, you write a check for $12 and send it back to them to escape feeling guilty.  Sound familiar?  So what's the problem again?  The problem is two-fold:  first off, if you feel led to give to someone or something you should never do it out of a feeling of guilt.  Guilt is a negative emotion, and can only harbor more guilt. Unfortunately however, this is the exact emotion some of these organizations are playing too....not a wise investment.  Secondly, as someone with any amount of money, it is YOUR job to be a responsible steward with it.  This would include making sure that when you do give your money/time, it will be used responsibly by the recipient.  If I send an organization $12, and the best I can tell $6-$8 of those dollars are going to be used on return address labels, custom post-it notes, and/or some form of currency, all just to instill guilt into 5000 more people, I'll pass.   The sad part about this story is that most of the charities/organizations that do this kind of thing are not bad, they are just miss-led, and as a result, I will give to them when they send a simple letter requesting funds.  Unfortunately however, this is usually not the case. 
The conclusion of this story goes something like this: 

Dear Charity/Organization,  I appreciate all the good things you do and the people that you help.  However, I am going to request that you stop sending me money, expensive mailings and newsletters, return address labels etc.  These items are expensive to produce, I did not ask for them and I will never give to anyone out of a feeling of guilt which is why you are sending them.  I will always be a cheerful giver, and NOT a guilt-driven giver.  As a result, I will not give to you when you attempt to guilt me into giving, and moreover, I can not give to you when the majority of my donation would be used to promote more guilt-driven givers.  In the future, please request money from me in a simple way.  A letter and return envelope will do just fine, and it will help your organization because I will give with confidence that my donation will not be wasted.  

Thank You